Originally posted: Feb. 10, 2025

By: Sakinah Musa

From having dreams of becoming a lawyer to finding purpose in education and counseling; UNLV alumna Abby Hasberry, ‘13 Ph.D. Curriculum and Instruction, wears many hats. She is a mother, therapist, the founder of D.E.A.R. Abby Counseling, an educator, a lifetime learner — and most recently, the author of her debut memoir; Adopting Privilege: A Memoir of Reinventing

My Adoptee Narrative. 

Abby is a transracial adoptee and although she had multicultural experiences throughout  her childhood, she lacked a meaningful connection to the black community and its culture. When she became pregnant as a teenager, she was coerced to relinquish her son , a decision that changed her life forever. 

Shifting the Narrative

Adoption is often discussed from the perspective of the adoptive parents and adoption agencies. Adoptee stories are often told with fairytale-like endings, but in reality, the road to happily ever after can be rough. 

“Adoption is trauma,” and in her book, Abby sets the table for a much-needed conversation on the wounds adoption can create for adoptees and their birth parents. 

“I really wanted it to be a catalyst for healing, which begins in conversation.” 

Writing from a Healed Place

“The most challenging part of writing my book was deciding how much to write? How much do I share? How do I portray others in my story?”

Abby balanced the need to remain honest and authentic by ensuring that she wrote from a healed place. “Write it all and whatever you don’t want to share, you can take out,” was the  guidance she got from mentor-turned-friend, Professor Christine Clark. 

So, she wrote freely, sparing no details—and in the end, didn’t take anything out. Given the great reviews she has received, it’s clear she made the right call by telling her whole truth.

“The rewarding part has been the feedback I’ve received, specifically from adoptees and birth mothers who have previewed the book,” she shared. “Having someone say they felt my bravery and balance in it.”

Fostering Equity in Classrooms, More books and Ted Talks

Abby hopes educators can learn to be informed about trauma and how it affects child development so they can better foster equity and inclusion in their classrooms. 

 “Understanding trauma and how you can be a trauma-informed teacher and have more grace is something I hope people can get from this.” 

Although Abby’s memoir comes from a healed place, her journey continues. She’s still processing her more current experiences within the context of her beginnings as an adoptee, including reuniting with her biological family and son. 

“I plan on writing another book in the next five years. I would love to do some research on adoption, specifically on the experiences of birth mothers and birth fathers.” 

While we await her next volume, she plans to share her stories about identity, development, parenting, adoption and adoption trauma through more personal connections and public speaking opportunities.

Adopting Privilege: A Memoir of Reinventing My Adoptee Narrative

Abby Hasberry’s memoir will launch on February 18. Interested readers can pre-order a copy and plan to join her on February 20 in a virtual book club.